Green Weenies and Due Diligence: Insider Business Jargon—Raw, Serious and Sometimes Funny
===========================================================================================

* Jessica Salzman

## By Ron Sturgeon. Illustrated by Gahan Wilson. Lynden, WA: Mike French Publishing, 2005. 314 pp. $28.95.

As the quote on the cover of this G-rated, abridged, gift-version of *Green Weenies and Due Diligence* states, and I would have to agree, the book is an “absolute must for business people and investors.” Ron Sturgeon, self-made, high school-educated millionaire, describes his own struggle to master the unique language of the business world. Starting a small business of his own in 1977, a mere six years out of high school, Sturgeon would go on to expand his collision repair company to six locations across Texas and eventually to sell in 1999 to the Ford Motor Company. He began to formulate the idea for this guide after first hearing the term “green weenie” during a meeting with high-ranking executives and investors. Not knowing the expression despite his familiarity with its context, he had to swallow his pride and ask for the definition. As this occurred quite often over the years, Sturgeon decided to help others who were not formally trained in business or who were naïve about the specific nuances of the language used during these interactions, by recording and compiling the new expressions he learned.

The book is divided into two parts. The first half is “Green Weenies,” and as the title implies, it consists mainly of the more humorous words and phrases. With illustrations by Gahan Wilson, this section is guaranteed to make the reader laugh out loud more than once. The six chapters range in topics from “Sales and Marketing” to “Business Planning, Acquisitions and Divestitures.” As dry as the titles sound, the chapters are actually entertaining and informative, without the need for a nap between pages. There is no way that an outsider such as I would ever have known what “foaming the runway” is or that a “one-eyed king in the land of the blind” can be either good or bad, depending on its context. In this section, Sturgeon adds brief sentences under each term, incorporating the novel words into a format that the reader may one day encounter.

The second half of the book, entitled “Due Diligence,” as Sturgeon warns, is not as engaging as the “Green Weenies” section; however, it serves to provide definitions of some of the more common and useful terms found in business. As in the first half, the six chapters in the latter section provide a variety of common phrases found under topics such as “Legal, Real Estate, Insurance and Contracts” and “Investments.” It was in this section that I found myself questioning why some of the terms had been included. Definition of “addendum,” “amendment,” “niche,” and other basic vocabulary words is certainly not necessary for most people. On the other hand, if the reader does not know these terms, it may be beneficial to become familiar with them so that the reader can function adequately in the business world. On the whole, the chapters include information that was mostly new to me. Whether the newly learned terms will help me in the future is yet to be determined.

As a future physician, I would definitely recommend this book to my colleagues. Judging from the changes that the field of medicine has undergone in recent years, it is vital that doctors arm themselves with an understanding of basic business principles. Just as a person who is not involved in the medical field would very likely be lost in a conversation between physicians because of the unique language used, physicians may, for example, be at a disadvantage in a meeting with lenders when obtaining a loan to open their own practice. After reading Ron Sturgeon's guide, I feel more confident about how to use much of the terminology within the business world, and I hope my newfound knowledge will serve me well in the future.

*   American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law